Special Note: Ronald did not intend for many of these quotes to be funny. It was a side-product of his personality.
The Blessing
One night as we sat at the table ready to eat supper (not dinner), Ronald attempted to say the blessing.
"Automotive Supply," is what came out. Since this was the name of his store, he had answered the phone with the store name...one too many times that day.
Driving Lessons
I have to admit I was a terrible driver, but Ronald was a far worse teacher!
As we were traveling along a road during one lesson, I undoubtedly did not have the mindset he desired. So he YELLS out, "BE CALM!" (Classic Ronald)
During another lesson, I was approaching an on coming car, as well as a pedestrian that was well off the road. For some reason, the pedestrian bothered me enough that I began to drift towards the center lane.
Daddy screams, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Me, "I don't want to hit the man (the pedestrian)."
Daddy screams, "HIT THE MAN! DON'T HIT THE CAR! HIT THE MAN!"
I still yell that out as I approach a pedestrian.
Fortunately, there were the days that Momma gave me driving lessons. On this particular day, I was attempting to park the car (a big Oldsmobile with steering so loose that you could turn the steering wheel for days before it moved a foot---ughh). As I approach our garage, instead of hitting the brake, I hit the gas. I ran into the garage. Unfortunately, Ronald was home.
He comes running out and I don't remember what he's screaming.
I can only imagine....WHAT ARE YOU DOING?! THE WHOLE HOUSE SHOOK!!
I remember my response, "I only tapped it."
Daddy, "Yea, you tapped it with two tons!"
My Rock Music
I had a nice set up in my bedroom during high school. My own phone extension, my own T.V., and my own stereo. I loved Rock Music! To get the full effect, it has to be played somewhat loud. Right?
Well, Ronald hated the music! He was always yelling for me to turn down that music. This dude loved Lawrence Welk. When it came on at 7:00 on Saturday nights, it was weird city.
We had a few conversations about music.
"Son, all they do is sing the same words over and over."
"Oh, like they 'Swam and they swam all over the dam.'" (Yes, I busted him good on his old music.)
Daddy, "You got me there."
One of my favorite Rock Groups was KISS. I would rock my KISS shirt around in the house.
Daddy, "They are performers! They should have more clothes on!"
Come on! Maybe Peter Chris or Paul Stanley had his shirt off.
Ronald did shoot a dagger in my KISS fan club. My buddies and I each decided we would "BE" one of the band members. I was Ace Frehly.
One day, I walked up to Daddy and showed him Ace on my shirt.
I said, "That's me, Daddy Ace Frehly!"
Without hesitation, he said, "Yea, you spell it as%"
Wow! The most classic burn that Ronald ever put on me!
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