HIT THE MAN!!!

                           
The title, "HIT THE MAN," are the words that came out of my daddy's mouth one day as he was teaching me to drive! But, we'll come back to that.

Background: My father could get uptight about things, to say the least. And, if it came to spending money, that was really a clencher. He died in 1979, when I was 18, so many of you never knew him. I'll take this time to educate you with a glimpse of the life of being a child of Ronald. (Shout out to my sister, Nancy!)

As I was learning to drive, my father "helped" me with this endeavor. I admit I was terrible at driving when I was 15 and even 16. Here are 3 events that seemed a little traumatic at the time, but I look back now and just have to laugh.

1. One driving lesson, we were out on some country road, and I must having been doing something wrong...who knows?! A reasonable person would think a driving teacher would need to help keep his student calm. I guess that was my daddy's intention when he suddenly yelled out, "RELAX!" Really? That sent me into panic mode!

2. Another wonderful lesson with Ronald: As we drove along another country road, I approached a man walking on the side of the road. He looked kind of close to the road, so I started moving away from the side of the road...and towards the center line. About that same time a car is approaching me, and honestly I was getting closer and closer to the other car, infringing on his part of the road. Well, Daddy was beyond incensed! He starting yelling, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" "GET BACK ON YOUR SIDE OF THE ROAD" (I think...His relaxed techniques weren't working well, and I don't remember his exact words.) After disaster was avoided, my 'driving teacher' continued to probe me for a reason for getting in the other driver's space. I told him I didn't want to hit the man that was walking on the side of the road. His lesson was as follows, "HIT THE MAN!" "DON'T HIT THE CAR!" "HIT THE MAN!"

3. One day it was my mother's turn to teach me to drive. Georgia was her name. She died in 1993 when I was 31. Many of you may not have known her, but I'm sure several of you remember her. She was more quietly spoken than my daddy, but she didn't have much fun with my driving lessons, either! I am telling you: I was TERRIBLE!! Well that day's lesson was coming to a close. I wheeled our big ole Oldsmobile into the driveway and approached the garage. For some reason, I pressed the gas instead of the break! Yes, I hit the garage. Guess who just happened to be home...Daddy! He came tearing out of the house, and honestly I don't remember his first words. However, I remember mine. I said, "Daddy, I just tapped it (the garage)." His response, "You tapped it with two tons!" We then proceeded into the Living Room for a 'classroom driving lesson'. He was in one recliner and I was in another. He quizzed me and advised me and drilled me for about an hour until I was crying! Woo Baby!

The lesson I mostly learned from all this teaching was: HIT THE MAN! Of course, almost every time that I am driving and pass a pedestrian beside the road--like this morning--I think (and sometimes yell) HIT THE MAN!!