Thursday, April 12, 2018

Mrs. Tense 1.5; Samson

Mrs. Tense LOVED her students. She did not always like them. Mrs. Tense was aware that many, many students disliked her. She really did not care. However, she did want the students to respect her. Mrs. Tense wanted to work her butt off to educate them. She wanted to be the students's biggest fan.

Everything was cool in the World of Tense, until you disrespected her. When that happened, you better go to church. She may have a Prayer Meeting with you prior to consequences. Mrs. Tense never intended to punish a student, but she often gave them consequences to provide an opportunity for that student to change his misbehavior in the future.

This leads us to a student named Samson. He was well named. Samson stood 6 foot, 3 inches tall. He weighed well over 300 pounds. By 1978 standards, he was HUGE! His size could be used for good or bad. 99 percent of the time, Samson used his size for the bad. He often misbehaved in class. He constantly bullied anybody and everybody. Samson only had one friend. Her name was Edith Turnbelt. The two had been friends since before Samson could remember. He was VERY protective of her. Samson was 16 years-old. His father owned a garage. This gave Samson access to smashed cars. He became quite adept at fixing them up. Samson loved muscle cars. Even at 16, Samson owned 3 cars. But, his baby was a 1973 Corvette that he had rebuilt from the ground. It was metallic green. It had 440 horses under the hood. He had put in a brand new stereo that rocked. The only problem with his car hobby was the speed he had come accustomed to driving. He had 3 speeding tickets in the last 6 months. One more and he was in trouble. When Edith asked Samson if he was scared about it, he shrugged his shoulders.
In his low voice, Samson said, "I ain't worried bout no cops!"
Edith said, "Really, Samson!?"
"Honey, I would outrun em all. I would be home playing sleep by the time they got to my house!"
Edith let out a shrill laugh.
"I ain't worried bout nothin!"
"Nothing?"
"Well, I do have to pass English this quarter. Old Lady Tense is about to get on my last nerve."
Edith exclaimed, "You aren't scared of Mrs Tense?"
"@#^%$ Nooooo!! Tomorrow during class, I am going to scare her!!"
Edith whispered, "Oh myyyy."

The next day, Samson dragged in to fifth period English class--a minute late.
Mrs. Tense HATED tardiness!
"Samson, why are you late?"
Samson looked around, took a deep breath, and said, "Your class is on my time."
Then he added, "Hon."
Mrs. Tense took a breath herself. "I see."
"Do you need to pass this class, Samson?"
"Wellllll"
"Well WHAT?"
"Yea."
"Yea? I see."
Samson smiled. "You see what?"
"I see my future."
Samson just quite did not get it...."What future?"
"First, you will address me as mam in the future. Do you want to know more about the future?"
"yes"
"Excuse me!?"
"Yes Mam."
"Today, at 3:17, I can see a room with a phone. It's a little cloudy. Wait, it is clear! It is the teacher's lounge!"
Samson's mouth was open, and the other students began to giggle.
Now, Mrs. Tense addressed the entire class. "I am sure everyone wants to know what I am seeing at 3:17 in the Teacher's Lounge."
Several students said, "Yes mam!"
"I see a phone. Oh my, there is a hand dialing a number."
One student said, "Did somebody pick up on the other end?"
"Yes, I can hear a Voice....it is saying RALPH'S GARAGE. RALPH SPEAKING."
Samson failed to remember that he was scared of one person in the world...his daddy--Ralph.
He burst out, "Mrs. Tense, please tell me what I need to do---so you can see a different future!"
The students died laughing!
Mrs. Tense simply said, "I think it is time to get back to the present."
Samson sat like an angel for the remainder of the class period.

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